Losing The Charade
by yaoi-is-wowie21
Summary: DISCONTINUED. Hogwarts Past. Lucius and Sirus have been dating for some time now. But when Sirius's exboyfriend walks in on them one day, everything gets twisted out of control. LuciusXSirius, SiriusXRemus, LuciusXSeverus.
1. Chapter One

**Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me. They belong to JK Rowling. Man, I wish I was her.**

**Aloha! Guess what I'm typing this on?! My new laptop!!! Er, well, my and my brother's new laptop, but he's never used it yet, so I'm calling it mine. Anyway, thought I'd share that random piece of information before I blew up. Yippie.**

**Lucius/Sirius, Sirius/Remus, Lucius/??? pairings. Maybe more later. If my brain allows it. Limeness, duh. I'm not actually ready to write out lemon scenes. So shoot me.**

**This was SUPPOSED to be a short little fic, but it sorta got more complicated. Darn. Er, this is set sometime around 6th or 7th year. It's Christmas, so no one's really at Hogwarts. So, read and review, please?**

**(POV means point of view, if you didn't know that. I'm hoping you did)**

**Losing the Charade**

_Lucius's POV_

"Are you ever going to tell them?"

The dark-haired boy lying beside me didn't answer. I merely waited, running my hands through those ebony colored locks. Sirius sighed, turning his back towards me. I took my fingers out of his hair and traced the pattern of his shoulder bone delicately.

"I don't know, Lucius," Sirius muttered, sighing again. "How do you think they'd react? James would kill you probably, for one thing. And Remus would be heartbroken....." He trailed off. I knew that Lupin and Sirius had been going out before I came along, and that Sirius had broken off their relationship because of me. I had a feeling that Sirius still had affections for the boy.

"You didn't have to break up with him," I told him softly, nuzzling my head into the back of his neck. Sirius groaned and turned around, so that we were face to face again.

"And as you say this, you're nibbling on my neck. I don't think you really wanted me to stay with him," he answered, flicking my nose lightly. I laughed.

"You know me too well. But I was truly sorry when you dumped him. I was afraid he was going to commit suicide, he looked so sad."

"Remus would never do that," Sirius replied quietly. "He didn't want to do anything that would hurt me." He was silent again and I took that as a sign that I shouldn't say anything else. Sure, I was worried that my lover was going to go running back to his werewolf friend, but Sirius never seemed like he was seriously considering it.

Peeking a look at the door, I asked, "Are you sure everyone's outside?"

Sirius nodded. "Yeah. They said at dinner they were going to go outside and have another snowball battle. I'm sure no one's going to come up here." I must have looked uneasy, because he added, "Jesus, fine, I'll lock the door." He got up and tapped the door with his wand. "Happy?"

"Hmph. I'm not scared. I'm just not used to being here. This _is_ the Gryffindor Tower, remember?"

"Well, how do you think I feel, having sex with you all the time in the Slytherin house?"

"Did you ever really care where we were?"

"Erm, no, but that's not the point!"

I pouted. "Enough of this. Come on."

Sirius gave me a sly grin. "Anxious, are we?"

"It's Christmas, Sirius. I want to get wasted, sleep, and have sex. But not necessarily in that order," I grinned back. Sirius clucked his tongue.

"Right then." He moved away from the door and back towards his bed, where I was lying, staring up at him. He slid on top of me with an almost catlike grace — or should I say dog-like grace? — and locked his lips with mine. I moaned and bucked my hips against his, hoping to flip him over so I could get on top, but he didn't budge. I ran my fingers through his hair again, then broke the kiss for a moment so I could breathe.

"I wanna be on top. You were on top last time," I mumbled, but Sirius was ignoring me; he had managed to undo my robes and the shirt underneath and was kissing my neck and chest. I growled and managed — rather difficultly, considering the position I was in — to knee him in the crotch. That caused him to bite my neck painfully and swear, but he looked up.

"What!?!"

"You mean that didn't feel good?" I smirked evilly. Sirius scowled.

"No."

"Didn't you hear what I said?"

"No."

"Oh. Well, I want top."

Without waiting for an answer, I pushed Sirius backwards with my leg and jumped on him, causing him to yelp. I laughed again and started unbuttoning his shirt (his robes were already on the floor because of an earlier snogging session). I traced a path of kisses down his chest, using my hands to massage Sirius's sides, making him moan with pleasure. After getting down to the waistband of his pants, I stopped kissing his stomach and went back up to his face. Sirius caught my lips with his, and wrapped his arms around my neck. Just I as was reaching down to get rid of those infernal things known as jeans, the door to the dormitory creaked open.

And all time seemed to stop.

_Sirius's POV_

I paused, looking confused. Lucius had stopped kissing me and was staring at the door with a pale, stricken face. Then it hit me. Oh my god, someone had just walked in. How could I have not heard the door? Well, okay, there was a good reason why I hadn't heard the door. But hadn't I locked it? Lucius was still propped up on his elbows over me, face turning from white to red to white again. I chanced a peek backwards. Fuck.

It was Remus.

Slowly, I rolled onto my stomach, so that I could see properly. Oh hell, he looked like he was going to cry. With a pained sort of look, Remus muttered something I couldn't hear and ran out of the room. Lucius looked down at me.

"I thought you locked the door!!!" He exclaimed, leaping from the bed.

"I did!!!" I cried out, sliding off the bed after him.

"Then explain what just happened!"

"Okay! We were about to shag, and Remus walks in — damn it, Remus!" I didn't bother trying to get my shirt, but rushed out after the boy. "Remus! Hey!"

He was almost to the portrait hole when I got down. He paused when I called his name, but kept going. He pushed open the picture of the fat lady and I grabbed him around the waist, pulling him back into the common room. The fire was blazing halfheartedly in the grate, which was what I stared at as I set Remus on a couch by it. He had his arms around me, sobbing into my shoulder. I let him cry in peace, Lucius watching from the doorway without any emotion on his face. Finally, Remus pulled away from me, wiping his eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Siri. I shouldn't be crying, it's not like you're my boyfriend anymore..." he muttered, through the robes he was covering his face with. I pulled his hands away from his head.

"It's not your fault. It's mine. I'm just a stupid bastard, not telling you the real reason I wanted to break up and then hiding my relationship with Lucius from you......It's all my fault," I told him quickly, running my hand over his hair. "All mine....." Remus looked like he was ready to burst into tears again, so I set his head on my shoulder. "I'm sorry......"

Remus lay like that for a moment, then seemed to realize that Lucius was there too. He coughed and sat up. Looking at my new lover, he said, "You're a very lucky guy....." Lucius shrugged a shoulder. I noticed he was still looking rather pallid. I patted the seat on the couch next to me.

"Lucius, come here."

He shook his head. "No, I better go. I'll just go get my stuff." I supposed he was referring to his shirt and robes, because he hadn't brought anything else.

"No. Come here."

Lucius gave me a glare but sulked over to the couch and sat down. I cleared my throat and said,

"Remus Lupin, best friend in the world and very first love; Lucius Malfoy, newly acquired lover and not as bad a guy as you would think." The two sat there, not looking at each other or me. "Please guys, at least shake hands. For me, at least?" Reluctantly, Lucius held out his hand and Remus took it carefully. They shook hands. "Thanks, guys," I muttered.

_Lucius's POV_

I wandered down the corridors to the Slytherin common room, staring idly at portraits and random things around the hall. We had been caught in the act. Someone now knew out secret. Thank god Remus hadn't come any later, who knows what he might have done.......

After a minute I realized I had made it to the portrait that lead to the common room. I sighed, ignoring it, and backtracked up the stairs, to the kitchens. Coming to the picture of the fruit bowl, I tickled it and shoved open the door.

I almost stopped when I saw who was already sitting there, but decided, what the hell. I ambled over to the table where Severus Snape sat, book propped up near his nose and sipping what looked like coffee.

"You'll never get to sleep if you drink that too late," I said conversationally, and Snape jumped. I chuckled and sat down across from him.

"Oh, Lucius. You startled me," Snape grumbled, wiping some coffee off his book.

"Sorry. So, what are you doing here? You usually study in the library."

"If you haven't noticed, Madame Pince doesn't like people eating in the library," Snape replied. "What're you doing here?"

"I was about to have sex with my boyfriend, but _his_ ex-boyfriend walked in on us and I figured it was a good time to leave."

Snape stared at me. "And I wondered what it would be like to have a complicated relationship. Actually, any relationship would be nice, but if it turned out like that, I think I'd skip on the dating thing."

I laughed again. "Believe me, it's much harder than it looks." Noticing a passing house-elf, I asked politely, "Excuse me, may I have a shot of vodka?" I looked at my watch. "Actually, make that a couple of shots." The elf nodded, looking disapproving, but scurried off to get the drinks. Sighing, I set my forehead on the table, arms around my head. Snape had set aside his book and was watching me intently.

"Who's this new boyfriend?" he asked.

"Sirius Black."

Snape shot me a repulsed look. "You're not serious."

"No, I'm dating him."

He rolled his eyes. "And you were going to sleep with him."

"What? I've done it before."

"Erg," Snape shuddered. "Sorry, but your choice right there is totally horrific and utterly disgusting. I suggest you dump him, and find someone _much_ better. Perhaps, I don't know, a squirrel."

"A squirrel."

"It's better than Black."

"Heh, forgot you don't particularly like him."

"Is it that obvious?"

I was going to answer, but the little house-elf had returned with a tray of vodka in small glasses. I thanked it courteously and set the tray on the table. "Want some?"

"No thanks," Snape shook his head. "I don't hold liquor well."

"Just like Sirius. He can barely drink a bottle of whiskey without making a fool out of himself," I grinned. "Now Lupin, he's amazing. He can take in more than me before passing out."

"What, do you go around having drinking contests with everyone?"

"No, that was just once. I think."

Snape smiled and drained the last of his coffee. "Hey, before I go, who's Black's ex-boyfriend?"

"Remus Lupin."

Snape choked on his drink. "WHAT?!?"

"You didn't know that?"

"No. Wow. Sirius dumped his best friend for you? What was he thinking?"

"Lupin's probably thinking the same thing."

"And you're okay with this?"

I didn't answer for a moment. "Sort of......" I finally replied. "I just want Sirius to be happy........ Even if that means letting him get back together with Lupin." Snape got up, setting his cup down and picking up his book.

"Well then, good luck with Black. I'm going up to bed. It's going to take years to get these pictures I now have in my head out."

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**Amazing, huh? Before, I had a sort of plot where it was just Sirius and Lucius getting caught by the whole gang mushed into one chapter, but it seems to have escalated from that. Expect lots of angstiness. Lol. Welp, you'll just have to wait for the next chapter. snorts Yeah, sure........... If you've read one of my other stories, TheHPRoFic (That's what I call it when I don't feel like writing out the whole title), you'll notice that Lucius's just like Draco. Hehe, like father like son.**

**Haha.**

**A squirrel.**

**I crack myself up. That's so sad, isn't it?**


	2. Chapter Two

**Disclaimer: These amazing characters are not owned by me. I'm making no money, so don't sue. Got it? Or, sue me and loose, so I can get a lot of money.**

**Aw man.......I'm listening to Evanescence's _My Immortal_, and now it has me thinking of Sirius and Remus (just like my songfic) and I'm going to start crying again. Wah....it makes me so sad!! Poor Remy........**

**Cassie, and what's this about Arthur/Lucius fics being 'ew, ew, ew'? Hm, maybe I should be more specific. How about, Arthur/Lucius when they're in school? That better? Should I remind you of some of the things you like?**

**Anyway, here's the next chapter. I have no idea how long this is going to be, so bear with me.**

**Losing the Charade**

_Sirius's POV_

Lucius had managed to sneak out while I was talking to Remus. He seemed to be taking the news pretty well. I had worried he would say he hated my guts and wished I would burn in hell. Well, okay, maybe I was thinking a little too dramatically, but you never know. Remus had gone to bed early, and I decided not to bother him. When the other two came up after ten minutes wondered where Remus had disappeared off to, I told them he wasn't feeling well, and had stayed inside.

I went to bed that night feeling sick. What if James and Peter found out? They wouldn't take it as well as Remus had, that was for sure.

The next morning broke gray and dreary. I blinked stupidly as a feebly ray of sunlight flittered through the window near my bed and rubbed my eyes. My gaze settled on the pile of presents I had left near my night stand the other day. A bag of Zonko's stuff from James, candy from Peter, and a handy penknife from Remus that could undo any lock. Also, stuffed in my trunk so the others wouldn't come across it, a ring from Lucius, bearing a snake and a lion, intertwined. I liked it a lot, but wearing it around the others would have raised some suspicions.

I sort of lay in my bed until I heard the others getting up, and after getting dressed we all headed down to the Great Hall for breakfast. James had noticed that Remus was being quieter than normal, and was pestering him with questions.

"Hey Remy, you okay?"

Remus just nodded.

"You sure?" James continued.

Remus nodded again.

"Oh, for heaven's sake, James, stop bothering him," I muttered when James looked like he was going to ask again.

The room was fairly empty when we got there; the students who had gone back to their houses for Christmas would be back later that day. We tromped over to the Gryffindor table and sat down, having a great selection of seats to pick from, since we were the only Gryffindor's there. I sat down across from Remus, who had begun to pile food on his plate with a blank face. I tried to catch his eye as I took toast from a plate and handed it to James, but Remus didn't look up.

I was halfway done with my eggs when a voice behind me spoke, shocking everyone in the hall.

"May I sit with you?"

I choked and turned in my seat slowly. Lucius was standing in-between the two tables, looking at me and ignoring the glowering looks directed to him from James. Peter looked in a state of shock. I glanced back quickly at Remus, but he was pretending not to notice.

"Erm," was I all I managed to say, but scooted down one seat so Lucius could sit at the end of the table. He sat down and started piling food onto his plate, without the merest look of interest at the scowls he was receiving.

"How's Lupin," he muttered to me without looking up from his plate.

"Better. But he seems distant now," I replied, barely moving my lips.

"I'm done. See you guys later," Remus announced in a whisper about a second later, setting down his fork and getting up. I flinched and Lucius stopped moving his knife across his plate.

"What? Hey, Remus," James called, but Remus didn't answer and just kept walking. James sat back down and stared at the two of us. "Okay, what in holy hell is going on?" Peter nodded, agreeing.

"Nothing," I muttered. I looked down at my plate, but suddenly, I didn't feel like eating anymore. Lucius seemed to have the same feeling, because he put down his silverware.

"And what about you?" James accused, pointing at Lucius.

"What about me?" Lucius replied cooly. I tried to look at anything that wasn't my friends. My gaze landed on the Slytherin table, where Snape was watching the four of us with guarded eyes. He looked straight at me, and I shuddered, turning back to the table.

"What're you doing at our table?"

"Only a Gryffindor could be so ignorant to believe that they own a table just for themselves. Ever heard of sharing?"

James's frown rounded on me. "Why is he here?"

I fidgeted in my seat. "Because he asked," I responded.

"That's not a good answer, Siri. What's going on?" James glared.

"Nothing, okay?!" I said, voice rising. "You know, what, we're going to go find Remus." I shot up quickly, grabbing Lucius by the wrist and forcibly dragging him through the doors to the Entrance Hall. I had a feeling that everyone in the hall was staring at us.

_Lucius's _POV

I followed Sirius through the corridors, actually not having much of a choice, since he had a death grip on my arm. After we arrived at the door to the library, I wrenched my arm free.

"Geez, what was that? You almost lost it," I muttered, rubbing my wrist. "And your grip really hurts."

"Sorry. I'll make it up later." That little twinkle that was usually in Sirius's eyes returned, if only for a brief second. I grinned.

"You better. So, are you going to talk to Lupin?"

Sirius nodded.

"I'll just go then." I turned to leave.

Sirius shook his head. "No, you come on too." He started tugging me into the library, and I followed a tad unwillingly. I knew how ex-boy/girlfriends could squabble, and I didn't like getting near people on the brink of an argument.

We found Remus sitting near a window, book in lap and staring out onto the grounds. He must have heard us coming, but didn't turn to look. Sirius walked over to him and slipped his arms around his shoulders. I felt a pang in my heart but didn't do anything.

"Remy....I know, I am so sorry. We really should have told you earlier, not have had you walk in at the most inconvenient time," Sirius whispered in his ear. Remus had set down the book but hadn't made any other moments.

"Look, Lupin," I said, before Sirius could continue. "I know you still like Sirius. I like him a lot too, but I don't think it's fair that he choose me when you were here first and he obviously still cares about you." Sirius looked like he was going to protest but I continued. "So, as of now, I suggest that we let you and Sirius back together for a while. Then see who he likes better. If it's you, then so be it. Good luck."

Sirius shot up to stop me but I was already out of the library and halfway down the hall. Sirius deserves better than me. If he still loves Lupin, then that was alright. I could find someone else. It's not like it's the end of the world.

I peered over my shoulder to check if anyone was following me, but the hall was empty. I headed down to the Slytherin common room, muttering the password sullenly to the portrait and slumping inside. The room was empty, the candles seemed unusually dim for so early in the morning. I lay down on a couch, ignoring the portrait that was reprimanding me for putting my shoes on the furniture.

I might have fallen asleep, I don't know, but the next I saw was Snape, peering down at me with a napkin in hand. I closed my eyes again, but he didn't seem to go away, so I looked up at him.

"What?"

"You missed lunch. I thought you might be hungry, because you didn't have a lot of breakfast," Snape answered, sliding my legs off the couch, forcing me to sit upright, so he could sit down next to me. " I brought you some sandwiches." He handed me the napkin.

"Thanks," I replied, taking out one of the sandwiches and biting into it. "Ergh, crap, this is roast beef."

"What, don't like roast beef?"

"Not in the least."

"Fine. There's also a turkey one in there, I think," he said, taking the other one from my hand and starting to eat it.

"Didn't you have lunch?" I asked, eating the turkey sandwich.

"Yeah."

"Jesus, how do you stay so skinny?"

He shrugged. "I have no idea."

"So, that's what you woke me up for? Food?"

"What, you wanted me to go report to the headmaster that you died from lack of nutrition? Not just yet."

I sighed and leaned back on the couch, remembering the reason I hadn't had much breakfast. Remus and Sirius. Of course. Sirius had no room in his heart for me.

"Are you okay?" Severus's voice snapped me out of my reverie.

"Huh?"

"Are you okay," he repeated. I gave him a blank look.

"Geez, for someone so smart, you'd think you'd have the comprehension to understand you're being asked a question. What's up? You look weird. —Er than normal."

"That's nice," I mumbled. "Let's just go insult the mopey one."

"Sorry. Didn't mean anything by it."

"Yeah, it's okay............" We sat there in silence for a moment. Then I said, "I think we broke up."

"What?"

"Me and Sirius. He still likes Lupin. I told him to give their thing another chance. I think I broke up with him."

"Oh." Severus looked at me. "Really?" I nodded. "Well, that's too bad......Was Black okay with it?"

"Don't know. I left before I could see his reaction," I replied. I stared at my half-eaten sandwich. Why did I care so much about him? I'd never loved anyone like him before. Why him?

"So, so you're single again?" Severus asked.

"I suppose," I muttered, eyes still downcast. That was probably why I didn't see Severus lean forward toward me until his lips were pressed against mine.

_Sirius's POV_

We were sitting in the corner of the library still, me leaning on the windowsill, Remus leaning on me. It felt quite comforting to have him so close again, to smell the scent of his cinnamon colored hair, and to feel the warmth of his body pressed against mine. I sighed and let my head fall back, making a clunking noise as it tapped the window. Remus seemed to notice my discomfort and looked up at me.

"Would you rather go find Malfoy?" he asked, chocolate colored eyes full of obvious worry. "I'm sure you miss him."

"No, not yet," I muttered. "Maybe, maybe he was right. That we were never meant to be. That I should have stayed with you. It's just, so confusing." I paused, staring out the window at the path were the students spending the holidays with their parents would be trudging up soon. "I, really like Lucius, I know that. But I can't let you go, Remy." Slowly, I reached over and took Remus's hand. He almost jumped at the movement, but didn't protest.

"Why not?" he inquired quietly. I noticed his eyes seemed to droop every now and then; he must not have had a good night's sleep. Probably thinking about me and Lucius, I thought sullenly.

"Because................." Another pause. "I think I love you, Remy."

Remus's grip on my hand tightened. "And what about.......you know.....?"

"Lucius is pretty popular, he can get himself a new boyfriend whenever he wants," I mumbled. "But there's something about you, something that I feel every time I'm around you, and only you. Not the others. Not Lucius. You. And I want you to feel the same."

"I do, Sirius," Remus answered, eyes now awake and alert, peering into my eyes. "I really do."

I smiled, and leaned forward and kissed my old lover.

That is, until Madame Pince swooped down on us, shouting that, even though it was a holiday, that didn't mean the library could be turned into a make out station. Remus and I laughed all the way back to the Gryffindor Tower.

When we got back, James and Peter were waiting in the common room.

"Remus, Sirius!" James yelped when we climbed in. "Where have you been?"

"Taking care of things, it's okay James," Remus replied. He smiled so widely that the other two just stared. I nodded, and took Remus's hand, leading him to the dormitory.

"Come on, Remy," I whispered to him on the way up the stairs. "We need a little time to make up............."

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**Mwaha! Do not fear (or do fear, depending on how you look at it), this is not the end! So gimme reviews and I'll write more! Well, I'll write more anyway, but yeah. So now Remus and Sirius are back together (my mind: YESYESYESYES!!!), and Snape's making moves on Lucius. Boys are so weird. Lol. So, what will happen in the next chapter? Well, wait and find out!**

**I kept spelling couch wrong. I kept writing coach. Oh well.**

**THANK YOUS!:**

**animegirl9001 - haha! never fear, I always come through with the Remy/Siri goodness!  
sirius - well, that problem was solved. lol**


	3. Chapter Three

**Disclaimer: Yes, yes, I know I'm not Rowling, no need to remind me...**

**Wo0tness. Chapter 3! My mind has suddenly gone blank. I have none of my witty banter to entertain you with. Darn. Thanks to you who reviewed. It really means a lot, 'specially cuz this is a really 'what the hell?' sort of fic. XD The fact that you actually wanted to read more is so awesome!**

**WTF...why am I writing this with Lucius? SO OOC, it's scary. For no apparent reason at all, this crap bit of a chapter focuses on Lucius and Severus. Whoo.**

**Losing the Charade**

_Lucius's POV_

All night I pondered everything that had happened earlier. I had broken up with Sirius. He was now back with Lupin. Severus had hit on me. It was sort of a scary thing. I wondered how Sirius would react, if I got together with Severus. Sighing, I rolled over in my bed. Why were things so complicated? There should be like, a little sign that blinks over your head when you meet your true soul mate.

I yawned and stared at the glowing numbers on my clock. Two in the morning. Lovely. My kiss with Severus kept floating up to the front of my mind. Why, damn it? It's not like I like-liked him or anything. I had honestly thought that Sirius was my love, but that didn't seem to have work out so well. Maybe getting to know Severus better wasn't such a bad idea...

After a few more minutes I had managed to settle in and fall asleep. When my alarm went off, I groaned, rolled over in bed, and slapped it off. Another wonderful day in this wonderful school. I hate hormones.

I got out of bed and got dressed as slowly as possible, not wanting to run into Severus any earlier than necessary. Classes started today as well, and I had not brain stormed any clever ideas to avoid everyone in the school.

Today started off just perfect.

_Severus's POV_

I was such a moron. A bloody moron. Lucius was never going to speak to me again. He's probably horrified, he ran out of there so quickly. I'm going to be shunned, ostracized from the community.

Then again, that wasn't anything new.

I don't know what I was thinking. I wasn't thinking, that was it. That and that damn roast beef sandwich. It totally messed me up. Messed with my brain.

Oh, what am I talking about? The roast beef is innocent. My own heart had betrayed me! And I thought that only happened in movies. Obviously I haven't put a damper on my emotions very well yet. I thought I'd worked on that.

Poor Lucius. I've frightened him off. He's going to think I'm such a freak. Ugh.

I saw him at breakfast. He looked positively dismayed.

Today started off just perfect.

_Lucius's POV_

It's like wherever I went, he was there too. I almost ran into him at breakfast. He looked shocked to see me. I would be shocked to see me too, if I were him. Did that make sense?

I'm so confused.

I'm not supposed to be confused.

I'm a Slytherin sex god, for heaven's sake! I know things. Everything! But obviously not emotions. Emotions can burn, for all I care. No one needs those. They trick you, and lie, and make you do stupid things.

Lucius Malfoy does not lose to love.

All right, I take that back.

Lucius Malfoy loses to love, don't I?

_Severus's POV_

I was hiding again. That was nothing new. The stack of books that concealed me from the outside world was satisfactorily adequate. I was pleased to see that the library had a copy of _The Antediluvian Archives_; that would keep my busy for the rest of the day. I didn't want to go to classes. The library was my home, and I needed a home now more than ever.

I knew I was a fool for staying away from him. I can't face my fears, no matter what I try. It's just not for me.

My fears stay with me, but at least they stay far back.

After a couple of hours, my stomach began to rumble, and I frowned. Oh, drats. I didn't want to move — didn't want to go to the Great Hall — didn't want to see him.

But someone out there hates me. It must be karma.

A sandwich flew at my head.

_Lucius's POV_

He wasn't in classes. He wasn't at dinner. That meant only one thing.

He had found a very large book and was holed up in the library.

The day had not been good to me. I couldn't concentrate in class, I dropped a pitcher during lunch and spilled pumpkin juice all over myself, I was just being a complete half-wit. The fact that I saw Sirius and Lupin holding hands in the hall didn't help my mood at all.

Meaning to return the favor, I grabbed a plate from the Great Hall and slipped out. Just as I had predicted, Severus was there, wedged in between a bookshelf and a fortress of almanacs. A _humongous_ book was propped up in his lap; I wouldn't have been surprised if a leg was broken because of that thing.

After standing there unintelligently for about a minute while he continued to stare at the pages, I picked a sandwich up off the plate and threw it at him.

Needless to say, he was not pleased.

"What the — Oh god." Sandwich in hand, he stared at me, eyes wide. I could tell he wanted to just sink into the floor right there.

"Hey." More awkward silence. "You seem hungry."

"I'm not." As fate almost always decides, Severus's stomach growled on cue. "Okay, so maybe I am."

"Why didn't you come to dinner?" I asked.

"I was busy. Reading." He gestured to the volume in his lap.

"Too busy to feed yourself? As I recall, you made sure I wasn't dying of hunger yesterday, why can't I do the same?"

He didn't reply. There was more silence, him staring at the dusty book in his lap, me at the top of his head. Finally, I went over, slid aside a batch of books, and sat down next to him.

I think he 'eeped'. But Slytherins don't 'eep'.

Do they?

"I know why you're avoiding me," I said slowly.

"I'm not avoiding you. What makes you think that?"

"Well, you skipped every class and didn't make lunch or dinner." I listed off. "Oh, and you're trying to inch away from me right now."

Severus blushed and stopped moving. "Look," he gulped. "I'm really sorry. That was stupid of me to do."

"Sorry for what?" I almost smirked. Smirking would not help this boy's self-esteem at all.

"S-sorry for kissing you," he mumbled, bringing the sandwich up to his lips, but not taking a bite. "I don't like ham."

That made me chuckle. Obviously we needed to learn each other's sandwich preferences. Reaching over, I took his wrist and pulled his hand closer, pressing a kiss to the back of it.

"I do. May I have it?"

"S-sure," he stuttered, attempting to draw his hand back. I let him go, taking the unwanted sandwich from him.

"Thanks." Setting the plate with the other various foods on top of the ancient book in his lap, I started on the ham. "So why are you here?"

"I told you, I'm reading — "

"I meant why are you staying away from me?"

"Oh, god, for the last time, I'm not — "

With a small grin, I leaned over and gave the dark-haired boy a quick kiss. "You were saying?"

"I'm was avoiding you, because I thought you hated me for kissing you," he said, nearly in shock.

"And?"

"And now I think I was wrong."

_Severus's POV_

Okay, so maybe he wasn't horrified. I had hope.

I think.

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**What have I done...this was supposed to be a Sirius/Lucius story! You've BETRAYED me, brain! RAWR. I've been really grumpy that I haven't been able to write anything good lately. Sorry.**

**I've killed it. I've put more POVs in it. Like, OMG. XD But I had fun writing Severus's thoughts after the kiss. Aha. Damn roast beef. Aww... I've made him so cute. What has this world COME to!**


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